Musings on The Future, and Other Serious Topics.

Tonight I went to see my friends in Opera Workshop perform Le Nozze di Figaro (The Marriage of Figaro). It was a little production in the recital hall featuring scenes from Mozart's famous opera, and I'm friends with almost everyone in the cast, PLUS the daughter of the director. So needless to say I got in free. xD

So I got there a little bit late because Pops rehearsal went over a bit, and I missed the first four pieces. But there I was, sitting next to my mom in the darkened recital hall, listening to my friends pour their hearts out into some of the best music ever written and I thought, "I would love to do this."

Now, we all know that I'm a Musical Theatre major. I love musicals. They're what bring me the most joy in the world out of everything that I've done in my entire life. I can totally picture myself in 5 years in NYC, living large and holding down a day job while I audition for shows and hopefully get in one some day. Somehow, it's always been in the back of my mind and heart, like no matter what I thought I might do with my life, Musical Theatre would always end up being the ultimate destination.

But I know that I'll only be able to sing the ingenue roles for so long before the weight in my voice kicks in like it did for my mom (we're essentially the same person, even down to the voice). Eventually, my voice is going to get too big for musicals. The only way I'll be able to keep doing it is if I do character roles and sing with half my voice. Do I really want to not sing fully? So here's the real question:

What do I do with my career once this happens? Do I give up? Do I go back to school to train for a job that I wouldn't enjoy nearly as much as what I gave up?

The answer, to me anyways, is completely obvious.

Of course not!

So I was sitting in that hall tonight, listening to my friends and I thought, I could absolutely do this. And in fact, after I've had my turn with Broadway (if it happens at all), Opera is really what I would love to do. And it unfortunately took me 18 and a half years to realize it.

My mother has been bugging me about it for almost ever, saying that if I gave it a chance, I would see where I would eventually end up. And as much as any teenager ever hates to admit it when they're parents are right, I can't find the resentment in my mother's correct observation that I "should" be feeling. But we've always had a rather abnormally close and trusting relationship. I was never that typical teenager who avoided questions from her parents and got moody or screamed that they were ruining her life. That was never me.

And unfortunately, I get the feeling that people look down upon my relationship with my mother.

It's a rather peculiar situation, one that no one should really ever have to go through. My mother is a professor in the same department in which I am a student. She sits in on rep class and hears me sing (she's not allowed to comment in front of the other students though. If she has something to say, she'll tell me at home). I should be able to go to a school free of parental pressure and just learn. But I see my parents every day. I still live at home. And they're in the same business. It makes it more difficult.

But ironically, I don't think that I could survive the situation if I didn't feel so close to my mother.

I don't think I'll ever truly work this through logically in my head, this whole same department, same household thing. But when it comes down to it, it's not about them. It's about me. Am I going to let my parent's presence in this school hold me back or bring me down? Hell no.

To those who don't talk to me because they're uncomfortable with the fact that both my mother and I are in this department: It's not your problem. It's mine and it's hers. So get over it. I'm not unapproachable. I'm a pretty laid back person. If you talk to me, I will talk to you back. I don't think I'm a very scary person. Just please don't automatically associate me with my mother. And even though I joke that we're the same, we're not. We're different people. Very different.

So. What does all this have to do with going to see The Marriage of Figaro??

Once I figured out that opera was most likely going to be a part of my future career, I decided that I should try to be involved with Opera Workshop in the fall. I don't have the room in my schedule credit-wise to actually sign up for the class, but I'm fairly certain that I would still be able to attend the class and just do the performance.

This is all dependent on whether or not I get in any of the productions in the fall, which I won't know about until next semester actually starts and I audition. Oh well.

Oh goodness. Way too much ended up being said in this post. I had no intention of going in that direction, but it's funny how when you just start typing, the thought progression that you take ends up straying drastically from the simple topic you'd planned to start with.

*Sigh* I suppose I should end this now. Thanks for listening? Reading? Does anyone even read this? I doubt it, but it doesn't matter. It feels good to get some of this out in the open.

Farewell for now.

HPRT: Julia (who was in the opera tonight) and I were thinking we should get those plastic "Best Friends" necklaces that are cut in half but fit together, and I mentioned the fact that the jagged edge of those necklaces remind me of Harry's scar. I'm SO lame.
Current Song: Zac and Sara by Ben Folds
Current Book: Harry, A History by Melissa Anelli